S t a r v i n g

So what's the problem now? When I was about to get out to meet my friends, I asked my mother for money for the concession as mine is already expired. This is what she told me. "I only have $70+ and I can't simply give you $50 just like that." And then I asked her. "Why not withdraw some from the ATM machine?" She then told me that she only have $7+ in her bank right now. That struck me. Why doesn't she have money..? Did not father not give her any money? What was he doing?! To be very honest, I feel sad.. Very sad. I mean.. I may be mean to my whole family but I still feel the need to care for them. What is wrong with me.. Maybe I should stop going out.. Maybe they should have one less child to feed. People said that think about happy things so that you won't think about depressing things but I don't think that's going to work. If I want myself to be happy, then I have to hang out with my friends. They are the only thing that makes me happy now. If I stayed at home, I would probably have died long ago. The thing is that, I cannot be left alone. If I am alone, those thoughts will be back to haunt me. I don't want that.

"The little kitten was starving.. Silently suffering lone, she was left to die and rot. Will someone be kind enough to pick her up and take good care of her? Who knows.."