I n s e c u r i t i e s

When was the last time I had the best sleep of my life? Now I have been having trouble sleeping. It's either my suicidal thoughts are back or my insecurities are not dying down. Suicidal thoughts? I had them since I was 16 years old. It all started with friendship problems which then family problems decided to stress me out even further. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends and family members but it's just sometimes they tend to be really DRAMATIC. No kidding. After family matters died down alittle, it became my own problems. Insecurities. I got a boyfriend on January this year(2016) and we kinda clique together pretty easily. He is really a boyfriend/husband material. He is basically perfect for me. But nowadays I have been feeling weird. How, you asked? Insecurities. I am scared.. I am scared that he will leave me one day and I'll be alone again. I don't want that. People told me not to put in 100% in this relationship as it will likely not last very long and I might end up hurting myself. But I can't just NOT put 100% into this relationship. Heck. I had put in my all into this relationship. I'm sorry but he is my everything now. I can't really trust anyone as much as I trust him. Forgive me but everything is changing.. I cannot really trust him that much anymore.. Maybe I'm over-thinking. Maybe I'm just sleepy because it's 5:23am over here right now. Maybe I have nothing better to do and that's why I'm thinking stupid things. Maybe my imagination is really something that I can think of many things which can drive myself crazy. Everythiing is so messed up right now.. My head is spinning. My heart is pumping quickly. My body is aching.. Help..

"Feeling helpless, all she could do was find a safe alley to sleep her worries away. This little kitten has yet to find a place she can call 'Sanctuary'. A place where she feels like home and a place where she feels needed and important."